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It’s like the Attack of the Killer Tomatoes: you look into their eyes, and you realise it’s too late
Most of the smaller wineries out there are pretty easy to deal with. You call them up, speak to a friendly and sensible person, and a box of samples arrives a few days later. Some wineries have baulked at our name, saying they’d prefer not to be associated with a wine site that focuses on the lowest price. That leads to interesting conversations, like: ‘I’ll go and buy some samples and write about your wines anyway, and I’ll point to the source with the lowest price.’ Some of them still haven’t worked out that there’s nowhere to hide on the internet highway.
Right from our humble beginnings almost 2 years ago, I took a different approach from other wine review sites. We didn’t ask every wine company and distributor for samples, but only the ones who made wines that fit our quality/value criteria. It’s given us some fascinating insights into the way some of these outfits operate. Revenge is a dish best enjoyed cold, according to the Godfather, so here are our top trophies:
- Trophy for the most obtuse wine company: Robert Oatley
It took Darren Jahn ages to respond to my phone messages and emails. When he finally did, he wrote that our website said we bought our own samples, so what did we want from him? I pointed out that we buy some samples and receive many others from selected wine companies. Could he please help with a few samples? He wrote me another obtuse email, again after much time had passed, so I asked him again, pretty directly: yes or no? He emailed back and said he’d send us some samples.
None have turned up to this day. I emailed Darren a few weeks later and asked what happened, and got no answer. I emailed him again but still no answer. I rang the company and asked if he had left. No he hadn’t, would I like to speak to him? Another message bank, another message that was never returned. I crossed Robert Oatley off my list. I don’t need to beg or grovel for samples, and there are lots of other wineries out there.
- Trophy for the most opaque wine company: Treasury Wine Estates
I called head office in Melbourne and asked the lady at reception whom I should speak to about wine samples. She pointed me to a page on the TWE website and said I should record my request there, and the relevant people would get back to me. I did that and got an automated message that said: someone will be in touch with you real soon. I got the same automated message the next day, but no one ever got in touch. I mentioned the experience to a friend in the trade and asked him if he had a contact at TWE. He just burst out laughing, and he didn’t stop laughing for some time. I got the message.
- Trophy for the meanest wine company out there: McWilliams
My initial requests for samples produced a box of wines under $10 from the Hanwood range and the Evans & Tate Classics. Now McWilliams makes a whole lot of wines in our $5 – $25 price range, from Catching Thieves and the Evans & Tate Metricup range to Partisan wines and Mount Pleasant wines and Yarra Valley wines and more, so I asked young Danni to send me a few more samples.
Of late, she has complied with my request, one bottle at a time, so I wrote her and the sales manager a note along these lines: I think I’m being generous with plenty of plugs for you guys on my website and in my weekly mailer, but you’re being pretty mean with samples … you make a lot of good wines between $10 and $25 street price, and I’d like to review more of them. What am I doing wrong? Is it something I said or wrote?
The answer was another single sample bottle and an email that ignored my question entirely. Clearly McWilliams set tight budgets for samples.
- Trophy for the most recalcitrant wine merchant: Bert Werden at Winestar
I asked Bert to send us a few samples – of wines we couldn’t find anywhere else – since we give him a lot of links in our Mailer and Best Lists. He said No, even when I offered to buy samples at cost, as we do with a few smaller merchants. And he said No when I asked him to waive the unbroken dozen condition on some of his cheaper wines (so I could buy single bottle samples).
I asked him why he showed less flexibility than a government department, and he wrote back: ‘I was explaining why we are unable to waive the minimum purchase policy we have for low priced wines and in addition sell these to you at cost – let me know if I have misunderstood? I totally understand you have an arrangement with other merchants and it may preclude us from being mentioned on your site.’
As Rex Mossop would’ve said, I was flabberghasted. I never suggested that I’d stop giving Winestar plugs on BWU$20 if he didn’t do me favours. We don’t work that way, but I’m happy to give him this well-earned prize.
- Trophy for the most ungrateful wine merchant out there: GLUG (David Farmer)
If you’ve got lots of miles on the clock as I do, you’ll remember Farmer Bros, the first national wine retail operation run by David and brother Richard out of Canberra. The dream run ended in the mid-nineties, and a few years later David popped up in the Barossa buying/blending and selling wine under his own labels. I’ve supported Farmer’s little GLUG operation, I’ve promoted his wines after buying some samples, I’ve shared coffee with him in the Barossa, I’ve sent him feedback from subscribers who rave about his wines, and I’ve asked him for some samples. I copied his staff and sent the email twice, but got no response from any of them. None. Zip. Zilch.
- Trophy for the most unresponsive winery in Australia: Mountadam
Yes, I know. I keep raving about their wines, the Chardonnay most of all. I work harder for them than their PR agency. I’ve asked them for samples by email, I’ve left phone messages for them, but never heard a single peep out of them, digital or analogue. Mountadam is a mount that does not give up its secrets.
We pride ourselves on our independence at BWU$20. We have no affiliates and take no kickbacks, and it works the other way too: I’ll continue to recommend good value wines wherever they come from. Much better to hand out trophies than to hold a grudge.
Kim